25 December, 2013

Making Money The Krrish 3 Way


Krrish 3 has minted a lot of money since its release. I’m not one for numbers because let us be honest I have no link with the Indian film industry except for maybe once in a while sitting down in-front of the computer in my boxers and writing about it on my blog. Now if I was getting even a small percentage of the said numbers that Krrish 3 has made at box-office I probably would have been busy spending the money rather than not worrying about it, so yeah let’s just say the movie has done beyond expectations.

I’m a business major, and when I finally managed to watch the movie yesterday I was in complete awe of the film. The fact that it made that kind of money can only mean that I have had the entire marketing game all wrong. Now, as a film I did not like it one bit, and if you are amongst the few who are yet to see it, skip it. In fact skip even reading about it here because you’re just wasting your time (don’t really; I can do with some hits on my blog). So, I twisted and turned all night and finally came up with six distinctive reasons, why Krrish 3 has done such good business, and here they are;   

The Idea that is Krrish – Hritik Roshan is back in his Krrish avatar. The one and only superhero of our film industry who is loved by almost everyone, except for the villains of the film of course. He’s the one who will save a falling child, but instead of taking the child back to his mother will make him sit on a ledge and give him a lecture on what is right and how one can be a strong individual. He will then very lovingly give the said child, and what we find out pretty much everyone else in the whole city, a kind of a Batman logo styled bracelet which surprisingly has a lot of sharp edges. But, thinking about all this would equate to using logic, which we must not allow our audience to do, and must therefore have such marketable things in the film so that money can be earned from merchandise sales.    

The X-Men – The one sure shot way for any film to make lots of money is by getting “inspired” from the X-Men. Krrish 3 sees Vivek Oberoi as an evil genius Kaal with, get this, telekinetic powers who due to his inability to use his body below the neck roams around in a wheelchair mentally playing with objects and just trying really hard to be a bad ass. His most favoured henchwoman is a shape shifting chameleon-esq Kaya played by Kangana Ranaut about whom we will talk a little later. There are other such mutants in his arsenal who are rather fondly called “Manwar” (Man + Janwar (Animal)). But, let’s not judge anyone. I mean if anything it is possible that growing up Kaal was heavily inspired by the X-Men trilogy and that is why he chose this path in life. Given the chance to have an army of mutant soldiers, heck even I would go for it, without giving second thought to copyright legalities.        


The Special Effects – It’s very important when making a film that is about to make a lot of money that you disregard anything and everything that your counterparts in the West have been doing. You must use special effects which are supposedly the best in your country and you will not take into account the fact that Hollywood films with flawless special effects have ever been made let alone shown in your country. Moreover, you will try your best to cash in on the fact that yours is the best special effects ever in a film in YOUR country. This will give a sense of pride to the watching audience who will be too afraid to raise a voice against your shabby and outright fake looking effects.  


Kangana Ranaut – You must have an actress that leaves the audience confused. This will help you keep their mind diverted enough for you to go about telling your story which we all know doesn’t stand a chance of approval if everyone paid attention. So, hiring an actress who speaks, acts, and just behaves in a weird way, will make the audience question your casting skills throughout the film, and no one will bother with your story.


The Story & Dialogue – A story that makes sense never makes money; those are words to live by. You must at all costs throw in enough curve balls and unimaginably unbelievable situations that make no sense into your plot line. This will confuse the audience even further, if ever they stop paying attention to Kangana and concentrate on the film. The story and most importantly the dialogue should be such that if anyone makes the mistake of trying to decipher what is happening, they are rewarded with a severe headache, a lesson they ought never to forget again especially while watching the next installation of the film.    


The WTF Effect – Logic should be thrown out of the window. That is your motto and you will promote your film by stating that this is a family entertainer which should be enjoyed by leaving your brains at home. The fact that the ability to watch and hear and contemplate language is also linked with the brain should be avoided at all costs. This will enable you to make your villain wear an American football styled helmet during his climatic fight. He is the same villain who was impeccably dressed when he could not walk or move his body, but now that he can, he prefers to dress up in a rather Iron Man-esq way, the kind that would make Marvel so ashamed that they would stop making Iron Man films... Oh wait! I know, I know, it’s more and more clear that our villain has been watching a lot of Marvel/DC films off late.

Leaving logic aside will also help you explain the entire, highly essential, “filter with a brain” idea thrown about in the story of the film without much thought at the end. This is important because it is here you strike the audience with drama and tragedy, the other powerful tool in your hands, killing off a major character, so as to once again successfully shift their awareness of the thinly hanging story.  

Always remember, the more you will try to be logical, the more your story will seem more plausible, and educated and intelligent people are less likely to enjoy your film.  

There you have it, six brilliant ways to make money from a film. There is a seventh secret weapon as well, but for that you need to ask the audience to experiment with the following; “if you say gullible really slowly out loud, it sounds like oranges”.


Rating 1/5  

4 comments:

  1. You would not be surprised if i'd tell u that I wasreding your post while watching the movie on my laptop!!!! I watched the movie in a fwd mode and skipped all horrible songs!!! O God!!

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    1. I agree, the songs were pretty early 1990s Rajesh Roshan type songs, and rather bland in general. I'm still surprised how this movie made money though.

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